the winding road to self

  counting bricks __________________ "Okay, sweetheart!  Today is the day!" he exclaimed. I squealed as I ran to my room to grab my stuffed bear.  I had been waiting for this day for what seemed like an eternity.  It was the perfect day outside.  I grabbed my shoes and plopped down on the kitchen floor.  I had recently learned how to tie them so I focused hard as I tried to recall the exact sequence of steps between the first bunny ear and the final knot.  Once I successfully pulled on the second pair of bunny ears securing my shoes, I bolted out the front door, down the steps and sidewalk to our car.  I hurled myself in the back and excitedly buckled my seat belt, imagining the car was already screeching down the street at full speed. I saw him look at me in his rear view mirror and he smiled.  I smiled back, then turned to look out the window as I tried to count the trees that passed by.  I couldn't believe we were on our way. ...

a vulnerable shell But first, a series of separate yet related accounts... ____________________ "Do you see half of what I see?" I laughed and playfully shoved Bailey's shoulder as she pulled her eyes back from the corners bringing them to a slant as she innocently smiled and giggled.  It was senior year of high school and we were heading into orchestra, the last mod of the day.  Bailey was a sandy-blonde freckle-faced girl I considered a friend.  She radiated with an earnest, genuine air that assured me this was no offense.  She was a church-going, friendly-to-everyone, always smiling kind of gal, so I knew she meant no harm.  No harm, no foul.  I knelt down to my locker as I paused to recall the 3-digit combination on my lock.  "You know that's a stupid question, right?" I said jokingly, looking over my shoulder to see her smiling back down at me as I shook my head and rolled my eyes.  She shrugged her shoulders, giggled once more, then turn...