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letters to my mother: questions

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 letters to my mother  I've spent the last few months trying to process every complicated feeling I've harbored since my daughter's birth to no avail.  In an attempt to hurl myself forward through this next phase of acceptance, the next series of posts will consist of letters I never intend to send.   __________________________________________________________________________________ -one: q uestions- Dear In-Suk,            So it seems not a day goes by that I don't think about you in passing.  Being a mother now, I can't help but think about you and wonder what our relationship was like before you gave me away.  I can't remember what it was like...but you can.   My daughter is nearly seven months old now.  Your granddaughter.  She is, what I like to call, a ham.  My honey ham.  I just mean she's rather silly sometimes.  When she gets excited she starts flapping her arms like a baby bird ...

motherhood

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  motherhood _____________________________________________________ Motherhood.  What a wild ride it's been so far.  With my 34th birthday approaching and the recent birth of my own child, I've inevitably been thinking about the special bond between mother and baby while trying to untangle the many feelings I've faced as I take on this new experience as an adoptee.  I went from having no biological family in my world to having the most beautiful daughter to call my own, a little human who actually shares traits with me , the only other human I know who shares my blood. Becoming a mother has had its inescapable ups and downs, joys and challenges, and ultimately the shedding of one identity as another one takes form.  What a funny juxtaposition to observe during postpartum, the shrinking of a woman's uterus working in tandem with the hard emotional growing pains of an inexplicably beautiful metamorphosis.  Oh, motherhood. I'll admit that the past six weeks in ...